All Time Low,
Isn't it a bitter sweet that my all time low became my all time high? It seems highly irrelevant now as it's all over... She says, expecting the response of a simple yes!
It wasn't ever simple though was it? It was the most difficult experiences of her life.
The journey was never ending, did I recall you believing it had already finished? Wow, that's certainly an understatement as this journey is only just starting!
I remember the darkness creeping around me, I searched for the light and that's when you appeared...
It seemed as if you had become my angel, I got it all wrong though!
I followed you, but you always looked right through me...
I searched for every approval from you high and low!
Why did you try to fix something that appeared broken? I was at an all time low.
I thrived from the smile you gave me when you seemed content, yet you lied.
How many lies?
I tried to reach to you, to reassure you it was only ever you. You locked away the highs and mingled with the lows.
Isolation.
Fear.
Heartache.
Dismissal.
An unbroken love...
Do you remember the emotions? I remember like it was yesterday.
We were toxic, yet I still chased you.
How can you fix the puzzle when the pieces are already all together?
Its broken, my mum screamed to me.
My best friend tried daily to reinforce the same message.
We never listened.
Why would we?
How could something so wrong make us feel so right?
Whilst you broke me you also fixed me!
The feeling of not feeling anything but the light I had burning away inside my heart was for you and for only you!
I become your ghost...
Locked away, controlled with pain and an unworthy trust that you would return.
When you returned, I saw a glimmer of you... You come back to me, but the reflection in the mirror didn't last for long.
We tried, I recall whispering to you as the pain took control over you and I.
Try again, one last time!
The circles were passing us by, we stood waiting for the train to stop but the speed was far too fast for us ever to stop!
At what cost, what cost did it take for you and I?
Somewhere, between the pain and the lows it still never occurred to you and I that we met at the wrong time!
Young, so young!
Your parents and my mum warned us of the pathway we were leading but we never listened....
It was an obsession.
As you grew weaker, I become stronger. My guard was let down and you came smashing into action. A vicious cycle that we continuously make on repeat.
It wasn't healthy.
I lost a part of us, the pain we suffered forced an explosive trigger upon one another.
Did it matter?
For a while, we were high of one another. Parading around like love sick teenagers and then the toxic waves came rushing back to the surface.
Jealousy crept up behind us.
I asked you to fix your pride, to allow me in.
Instead you hide..,.
You asked me to fix the pain surrounding you and I.
To forgive is to forget. But to forget is to remain the same.
The waves grew stronger.
Could you save me?
The screaming, isn't as loud anymore. I beg you to save me, to rescue me like once before. Your standing there, you aren't him! You aren't my high. Are we broken?
I remember your stare, so fixated on only I.
I didn't see this before, until now.
Were you testing me?
The fights, were they ever reality? Or a distorted imagination of yours to test my patience?
I'm constantly at an all time low but I could never be without you!
We realised when it was far too late to be saved.
You held my hand on your cheek, you gave me a proposal of which shocked me to a degree.
Being with you, moved my world at the speed of light!
Where was the light?
Our light began to fade...
The sparks were still flying strong.
You once asked me to stand by your side,, I gave you my word.
It was toxic.
You told me you had been so alone, you had no idea how to love you and I.
I told you I was raised as an only child and the loneliness never fades.
I ran to you. You ran to me.
We expected the fall, we expected to be let down.
I see our memories burning like the sun, the tears streaming one by one.
You asked me to forget you if we couldn't make it....
You will always be my all time low.
How could I forget you?
I tried so hard to do so, I ran from you but I seem to have come back for what seems to be yet another fall.
I guess your my all time low, no matter how much it hurts.
It's forever going to be our scar!
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