Dear Warwick Avenue,
It's been a while, since I saw you yet it seems like it was yesterday. Some people would say that's wishful thinking though some would say that's called being under a spell! Why wouldn't you release me? Was it being under you spell which made me, me? Or was it becoming your shadow which allowed me to see the light to notice me? Will we ever know? Has this become a journal full of thoughts spiralling round and round? I guess, it's an endless amount of questions that may never be answered...
I'm standing up alright on my own! Though, I often heard you criticise in silent whispers when it appeared you were praising me! I become a stepping stone.
Had I doubted myself that much to even know what were whispers and what were sweet nothings?
In time, I hope you'll know what you did to me! Although, it's transparent you will never notice!
I still remember the words you used to silence me, the endless promises and the sweet nothings which appeared to be our future... At what point, did you realise I would lay wide awake knowing that's all it was?... Sweet nothings.!
Time and time again, I allowed you back in to know the promises were never true. I guess the word, I am looking for is 'hope'.
To scared to walk to the door and to know it's through.
The cycles circulating over and over wishing that the train wouldn't come. It felt like I was never arriving but always departing. None the less, I never wished for the train to come, as you were all I knew.
My world metaphorically had become a train crash, though I found myself crumbling when you weren't there? Why? I often wished you would leave, then I figured that's all everyone seems to do.
Is it a reoccurring curse?
The blame whirled round and round. I blamed you!
The burning sensation as you walked away to know you could smell a sweet scent of success.
Your sweet goodbye was a deadly kiss!...
How was I meant to forget you? Who was I, without you? Everyone around me, become ghosts who appeared to be there but were they really there? Not without you, life become a blur.
I couldn't nor wouldn't ever run back as your love was torture but it was a torture that made me live until the end. We said our end to a goodbye a long time ago.
Warwick Avenue, appeared to be the beginning of it all... The first baby steps, the first baby word and of course the first on-going cries as I often fell over as a child. It was time to set foot into a new world.
To fade away from you as you're and always will be unforgettable. I couldn't allow you to stand their to enjoy watching me burn any longer. It was time to fade.
Why does he do me that way?
You're going down honey!
You said you can't live without me, so why aren't you dead yet? Why are you still breathing?
After all the time, you still have that hold which you once requested from me. Standing by you seemed so easy, yet why was it so hard? Full of regret, empty promises and disappointment.
Would I go through it all again, I would in a heartbeat. In order, to reach the point of where I am now and that's far away from you.
You made me become so numb, so un-me! You trapped me in a world where I wasn't me!
Was that your goal, to leave me trapped in a parallel world without you? Did you want me to experience the highs and the lows? Isolated from a world I loved and a place I knew!
You lied to me, not just once but day in and day out.
All the days we spent together and now I am finally departing.
It seems it's been a while since I was here, round and round I would often search for the avenue until one day it hit me that I wasn't ready to depart.
Goodbye Warwick Avenue...
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