Take me back to Sunday already... Please!! Is it just me who is feeling like this or is it a joint feeling I am sharing with you all right now?
It's been a while since I took to writing a big blog, but I guess the saying 'bouncing backing into action' is ringing a few bells right now.
Life has been a pretty chaotic and packed with different opportunities which has kept me on my toes and I am very thankful for everything in my life.
However, before sharing specific 'Catch Ups' from myself with you all I wanted to focus on expressing a few factors of which I think is important that we all take the time to remember and to allow ourselves to adapt from. Wouldn't you agree, there's things in everyday life that we all can alter in our lives from?
Life is beautiful and it can always change. No matter what life throws at you, allow it to be beautiful. Take chances, which lead to new opportunities and many risks that may lead to other memories throughout your lives. All of these will bring new horizons as your journey unfolds... Page by page, we will one by one create new chapters and stories. Yet we all need to find bravery and follow our journeys no matter what. As our journeys have always awaited us.
A little side note, I am in love with my new 'Stripped' tracksuit from Ann Summer's.
However, I thought it would be a good opportunity to share the photo other than simply just having the meaning of sharing the outfit with you all. There are always more meanings than just one with everything in life. The hidden meaning behind this selfie, is that I have stripped things back and I am sharing things with you which I have kept hidden for a while... I suppose, it's my way to strip things back and to almost be vulnerable and to share everything with you all.
Under two months ago, I started a project which I knew would open many different doors for myself and for my audience.
Along the way of becoming a blogger and sharing things with you it has brought me on many different journeys which of course I am over the moon to experience with you all. That's not me saying there hasn't been tough experiences as there have been plenty but every journey has brought life lessons, that has challenged my view on life and influenced the way I think and altered the way I pursue things in my life.
Back around, the middle of November I turned to writing a serious of chapters which started with; 'When I Get To Warwick Avenue', and spiralled onto may others such as; 'Wolves', 'Glamorous', 'All Time Low', 'The Sound' and 'Because Of You.'
I've decided to turn to the blog today to release this vlog/blog post as I feel like it's time to come out and explain as much as I can about this project with every single one of you.
Later on, I will share vlogs that will explain things more thoroughly straight from my perspective as I am speaking it directly rather than having the time to explain detail to detail...
With using the title: 'A Stripped Down/Quick Catch Up With Anya Marie Ball...', I feel like writers know exactly how to play on words to cause reactions and to establish a factor of interest. For me, it's been important to use the capture of interest in nothing but the right way as to reach out and finally explain to a degree what the last few blogs have been about is almost like picturing me without my platform heeled boots... I mean you should all know by now that that's a rare occasion that nobody really ever see's!
One thing, that's important I remind not just you all but myself is the purpose of why I become a Blogger.... If you don't know then, I guess you should by the end of this blog... It was to become a Writer. To share my passions, through using another passion of mine. I remember exactly who encouraged me to begin blogging and that was back in 2015 in late November on the Isle of Wight working in the County Press offices with editors; Thomas Seal and Martin (unfortunately, I have forgotten Martin's surname!!) (I know, Martin reads my blogs too and he's going to kill me for this!) Sorry Martin!!
However, the reason I become a blogger was to establish my passion for writing as it's fair to say Little Anya has always had dreams of becoming a Writer and that she certainly did...
The biggest and I suppose realest advice I have for everyone is the following:
'To never forget your roots, to follow your pathways and to be you.'
Sometimes, life can get very dramatic and very full on but take your time. Take the time for you, we all experience a lot from any age and it's how you face things that show the true you.
So roundabout two months ago, I took to writing a serious of chapters which aren't always related to me but majority of them have an experience I have faced or had feelings towards. I took everything back to the basics, out came the pen and endless amounts of paper and then I scribbled down the chapters....
At the time, I began writing I felt like it was the right time and in fact I remember constantly feeling very passionate towards the project that I had begun. It's fair to say I was very motivated and determined to capture every image correctly and every word I wrote to keep the feeling lingering.
As I have stated, not every chapter resolves around something I have experienced or a part of my life. I have worked alongside many of amazing and inspiring people, who I'm so proud of and truly inspired by for allowing me to take the time to capture and play with their stories to eventually share with you all. Some of which, haven't even been published on the blog yet or some I haven't even began writing about.
So thank you, as you have kept me motivated and determined.
One thing, that's really stuck with me along this journey is that:
'The image you create, is constantly changing...'
However;
'The image people remember of you is something that remains with them forever."
Selfie's are taken every single minute of every day now and constantly the world is changing which means you and your life are changing too. Your pain, is growing or the pain you seem to be causing others are growing too and life is endless.
So take your time... Don't rush, don't rush your life.
There have been times, where I remember sitting at home thinking that my friends are happy in a relationship or they're happy within their home life and then there's me!
Stop!
Stop with the comparing, stop with the negativity and live your life.
Loosing someone, you thought you loved and that they loved you too.. Was that the end of the World? No, it's reality and although that pain causes you so much grief at the time you will move on and become so much stronger than you thought you ever could.
Have you ever blamed others for not having the family life you wanted? Yes, was it ever their fault? No, reality happened!
It's life....
Things happen, life changes... We alter, we make choices and we seek opportunities.
Nothing in this world anymore is black and white... And, let's face it I don't think I would ever want it to be. Eventually, I want my children and my children's children to have imagination and to chase those dreams but to face heartache and periods of their lives which they think they can't grow from because believe me they will and they will grow so big that they never fear that again.
As this will show you all who you are...
Life is about learning and making mistakes... Making promises which unfortunately aren't always kept and are mainly broken by others that you thought would never walkaway.
Life happens, it sometimes gets in the way.
Openly, I admit I have made many mistakes but those mistakes I have made have pushed me further than I thought I would ever be as I have; learned, adapted, grown and become me. Of course, not every mistake has been something I am proud of but it has effected me.
Another lesson, that I have carried along this journey is the following:
"To be an image, is to see an image but to view an image and to be that image are two different things."
Nowadays, I see so many people posting on their social medias and this includes myself too. Behind that image is a completely different world to what you see.
So let's break down the above image of myself to demonstrate to you all it's not always what you see...
1) I didn't wake up like that, although Instagram may think I did... I certainly didn't.
2) I don't sit at home, wearing my pretty clothes every single day as there are plenty of days I sit at home with my hair in a messy bun and baggy pj's all day.
3) My bedroom, isn't always that tidy.
4) My life isn't as rosy as the pictures you see.
5) We all have a life, we hide from the camera.
6) My life isn't perfect. People share what they want to share not what they always live.
Anyway, let's focus on the chapters...
I guess some of them are pretty clear what they could be and of course some of them discuss previous relationships I have experiences and some of which you all have known of too. My way, of sometimes closing the door on things in my life, is to write and to keep on writing because sometimes I ignored the truth. But the truth was, no matter how dangerously you love someone it just doesn't work... It's never enough. At times, people take everything from you and they leave you vulnerable with nothing left.
Though, that doesn't mean it's the end... It's just the end of saying goodbye.
It's not the end of you, or the end of your life it's in fact just the beginning.
For me, I always pressure myself and make myself feel like I shouldn't allow people to feel like I have left them or for them to leave me as my early years as a child I felt very left and I suppose how you feel afterwards always has a continuous effect on you. When in actual fact, it's life and life happens people leave people stay...
It's how you live in the moment.
Not everything, in people's lives are what they seem. Sometimes, you only tell your best friends or your friends the bare minimum and eventually when your ready for that chapter to be told, you will tell it but it has to be in your time.
For example, I think it's pretty fair to say I cared for my Stepfather a lot more than he cared for both my Mum and I put together. At least, that's how we were made to feel, the way I dealt with their break-up wasn't exactly easy. I made mistakes, I lashed out and I made my Mum feel like she had to return to him as I couldn't take the break-up. I was selfish. However, their break-up came around the same time mine with my ex did too and facing the hurt and betrayal that I did, we clearly deal with things differently and at the time I couldn't visualise anything other than that.
I thought my parents break-up was the end of the world. In fact, it was my mum's beginning to feel empowered and super confident with her image. Looking back it was the best decision she made and I am so impressed with her.
That initial hurt, I faced honestly felt like I would never spring back and eventually I did.
In life from time to time, we often feel like it's far easy to quit rather than to step back and fight for the rise of ourselves.
You have a voice, we all have a voice and it's ready to be heard. It's waiting for you to use it and to achieve from letting it live.
In a way, each chapter that I have wrote has taught me to allow life to happen and to be prepared to learn as life is constantly changing in front of our eyes.
It's to know we should expect heart aches, to face memories which fade to dust and to achieve things we never thought we could.
Our lives are an open book, it's waiting for you to open that story and to close it when it needs to be closed.
The chapters, that I am creating and for the ones I have already told - they have many different influences hidden behind them for example some of them may be influenced by; a favourite song of mine, an ex of mine, the relationships I have with my friends or family or myself.... It's like a jungle, it's a mix of everything.
Working on this project has definitely taught me a lot but it's also taught me not to hide my feelings and to be open minded with everything... But to live, to not fear living.
Capturing the right images and meanings, has been one of the difficult parts of putting this vlog/blog together as it's a journey all of us can take something from and if anything that's mainly why I want you all to read this and to listen to what I have had to say as it's something I want you to take from and to allow yourselves to begin your journeys from...
On the other hand, I wanted to add a slight element of 'humour' into this blog for you all as it's been quite a serious and full on blog that I have shared with you all..
So I wanted, to hit the;
PAUSE....
button and remind you all that life is about living it too and filling your lives with fun and happiness. So what better way, than to have a joke with me and laugh at my awful attempts of vlogging?!
Ha!!
Initially, I wanted to sit down and express to you all what each blog meant and to talk through every feeling but instead I thought as a writer I wanted to allow you all to have your very own take on each chapter. To perhaps, know and have a slight understanding of what they meant to me but to be able to have your own feelings and impact, as to me that means a lot more.
As I took to my social media's today, I am sure you may have seen a few snippets of what's coming your way...
If you haven't, then here's a few vlogs for you all that I hope have explained a little more for you all...
I hope, I have been as crystal clear as I had wished I would be...
I'm sure from the constant uploads to my social media's today you can tell I have been waiting for this day for a while... I'm also pretty nervous to see what everyone's responses are...
Much Love As Always,
xx
